It’s 5 PM and I walk outside the house thinking “whoosh, boy is it hot!” It was probably 85 degrees Celsius and I was wearing a long maxi dress with a jean jacket that covered my arms. I’m thinking “this is pretty modest, cute and casual, shouldn’t attract too much attention.” No, I was mistaken. It took no more than a 2 minute walk down the street to hear cars honking and to see guys blow kisses out their windows. Gross. My host sister seemed to think it was funny. I wasn’t amused in the least bit. I had prepared myself for this, but let’s be real … this is no different than what I would experience at home, especially in Atlanta. Guys are constantly out of pocket.
Anywho, I continued on my merry way to the salon. I just wanted to get my hair done! Luckily, I was in and out in under a half hour. I paid 5 Jordanian Dinars — which is the equivalent to about $6-7 — and my hair was gone-with-the-wind fabulous. No flat iron needed either, just a blow dryer. Yes, I was in heaven.
I didn’t have to deal with any harassment on the way back and totally forgot about my experience because I had thought nothing of it until my host sister told her mom and dad about what happened. Everyone started laughing. I joked and told them that I was just going to start wearing a hijab to repel unwanted attention. They all laughed harder and began to explain how that wouldn’t help at all! Confused, I asked them to elaborate.
Me and my Boston baddie.
What I learned next really irked me. Supposedly women attract more attention when they wear hijabs or burkas because men are constantly trying to figure out what’s underneath all that cover-up. Really now? How is the religion supposed to make wearing a hijab an obligation and justify it with “modesty” and “purity” but men continue to be pigs and exercise no form of respect or discretion. It’s like women lose either way. If I don’t wear a hijab, I feel out of place and get harassed. If I do wear a hijab, I’m trying to respect the culture and the religion, but I’m still harassed.
Men need to do better. The Qu’ran considers it a greater sin for a man to stare at a female, especially if she wears a hijab, but this isn’t common knowledge when you live in such a male-dominated, patriarchal society. I reiterate: Men need to do better.
So really, what is rape culture when a woman can be covered head to toe and still get harassed?
The King Hussein Bin Tala Mosque view from inside the women’s prayer room upstairs.
My two questions are:
1) Why must the women be hidden …
2) Why must the women pray upstairs …
Religion can be so beautiful and so ugly simultaneously.